Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Codicils To Thy Commandments (See prior posting)

[because nothing is ever really written in stone]

3. Thou shalt especially not speak the MIDDLE name of thy savior, by which thine eyes might behold the blinding glory of his Islamic godhead. [Thy savior, on the other hand, may make use of the Holy Middle Name at will, when it suits me and endears me to the bowing and swooning crowd of the moment.]

5. Honor whatever combination of parents thou mayest possess, but feel free to throw thy grandmother under the bus as a "typical white woman".

6. Neither shalt thou utter a peep or a squeak in protest of the stoning and flogging of scandalous women who have been righteously convicted of exchanging words with unrelated males; nor of the beheading of anybody anywhere [be they Saudi criminals, international journalists and contractors, or American soldiers named Menchaca and Tucker]; nor of the beating, bombing, burning, or brutalizing of anyone associated with Mohammedan cartoons or incendiary films disrespecting the Prophet.

8. Stealing being defined as making more money than that which is required for "sustainable development" of one's own home, family, and recreation, likewise the ownership of an SUV, RV, Gulfstream jet, or multiple residences and stock portfolios. Iconic persons employed in the Hollywood entertainment industry being always excepted from this commandment and its codicils whatsoever.

9. True witness not to be born shall include the playing of the Race Card, which is defined as the speaking or even noticing the race of the Savior under any circumstances whatsoever -- unless thou be a member in good standing of the Democratic Party and it is seen to be to the benefit of the savior to set the Race Card on the table to the awe of the assembly. True witness may also be born against troublesome members of the vox populi, in the form of revelations of tax liens, divorce records, and teenage DUI's, for the chastisement and discouragement of sins against the savior's glowing nimbus -- in a word, thou shalt not do a Josephus-the-Plumber on the lord thy god, lest there be weeping and gnashing of reputations.

10. And be thou assured that thy coveting will be assuaged by the confiscatory taxation of thy neighbors by thy savior, who will then redistribute thy neighbor's house, field, servants, and probably his ass unto thee, according to the New EuroWorld Order.

11. When in doubt, thou shalt apologize about everything done by an American since July 5, 1776.


  1. Left wing definitions:
    RV- Repulsively-carbonaceous vehicle.
    SUV- Selfishly Unsustainable Vehicle.
    Conservative definitions:
    Steal- Serpupticious Tax Evasion and Avoidance by Lawmakers.
    Jet plane- Justifiable Entertainment Trinket for Pelosi And Not Excessive.

  2. We are truly one Europe now! Thank Obama. BHO be praised!